From

Location

Message

Date Posted

Rhode Island

YOUR PLANTS ARE A DISCRACE, YOUR FRUIT IS WAY BEHIND AND YOUR ONE OF THE SCHEDULED PATCH TOUR STOPS THIS WEEKEND.
YOU NEED TO?
1. adjust your pollination stakes moving the dates out to
the end of july
2. spray paint those brown and blue leaves with a misty
green coloring
3. take the visitors to someone elses patch and tell them
its yours

THE SUN JUST POPPED OUT WHILE AT YOUR GRANDMOTHERS BIRTHDAY PARTY AND YOU JUST REMEMBERED THE COVERS ARE STILL ON THE GREENHOUSES.YOU WOULD?
1.ask where the bathroonm is and run like hell for your car
2.take granny for ice cream, stopping first at your house
3.send your spouse home to do it so you can have more cake
and ice cream

ITS LATE SEPTEMBER AND YOUR LOOKING FOR TWO MORE WEEKS OF DAILY GAINS. YOU NEED TO?
1. take a three way measurement and compair the total
inches to the circumference chart
2. when measuring over the top and side to side dig down an
inch into the soil (each way) once per week
3. throw out that 2001 chart you have been using and go to
2005 chart for the first week then 2007 for the last
week.

A NEW GROWER IN CUTOFFS AND A LOW CUT BLOUSE IS DYING TO ASK YOU ALL ABOUT YOUR SYSTEM AND KNOWLEDGE WITH REGARD TO GROWING GIANT PUMPKINS, BUT YOUR SPOUSE IS WITH YOU. AND SHES VERY JEALOUS. YOU NEED TO ?
1.tell her to meet you at the snack bar
2.send your wife out for hot dogs and beer
3.send your wife home for your medications
4.introduce your wife to someone on the other side of the
arena ,then run like hell back to the other side
5.introduce her to your wife as "your buddies wife"

5/17/2008 9:40:39 PM

Puyallup, WA

That fourth one is "priceless"! LOL! Can you name me one grower's wife that is not jealous?

5/18/2008 12:53:39 AM

Colorado Springs.Co

Pap, you can forget that poker game! if there was a devious individual hall of fame, I vote you as the first inductee.Great stuff!

5/18/2008 1:03:51 AM

North Smithfield, RI

My plants are a disgrace so I take my friends to Joe Jutras's patch and tell them I live there !

I'd give granny the keys to my truck and send her to take the covers off the greenhouses ! More food and cake and we can raid the old lady's keg down cellar !

Who needs the chart ? Just use some imagination !

I would send that woman down to Greene to see Ron ! He's single and my wife is already loading the gun !!!

5/18/2008 5:57:30 PM

North Smithfield, RI

And we don't own a gun ,,, But the fire in her eyes is enough !!!

5/18/2008 6:01:31 PM

Sort of Sunny Sometimes, WA

Too funny Pap!

5/18/2008 7:51:01 PM

Williamsburg,KY

Thats way too funny Pap. Im sure someone has used all your tips. lol

5/19/2008 1:29:47 PM

Pennsylvania

Hey GeoD, wives don't need a gun. They shoot psycological bullets.

5/19/2008 9:30:39 PM